I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
