put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
