it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
