my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
