I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
