also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
