you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
