love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
