..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
