I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
