the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize