shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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