ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
