what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
True strength comes from lack of pants
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
