she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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