I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
