god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize