I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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