OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Just invented taco cereal.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
