Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
