so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
