I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
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