I can tuck mytits in my pants
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
