What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I have tasted many bathrooms
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
