weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
