You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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