I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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