I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
