Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Randomize
