Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
