She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
How does one acquire holy water?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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