Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
