I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
