writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize