Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Randomize
