ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
