I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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