Tell her she can't have a vagina
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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