Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
