North Korea, Best Korea!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
