dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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