Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
