Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
