i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
