Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
