i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
