i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
