her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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