His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
