this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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