I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
