Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
