Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
