why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize