I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
