Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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