Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
