First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize