East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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