Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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