I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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