Do you still have your period?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize